Dale Jones: GTMO was my first USO tour. A fellow comedian books the tour and asked me if I was interested. Of course I said yes (anything for the troops). At first I thought it was gonna be a bummer because on the military flight over all the seats were filled and since I was the lightest I had to sit in the back of the plane on the toilet seat. For 3 hours! I still have a ring on my butt. The tour lasted 3 days. We were treated like kings (that stood up in front of people and told jokes). Everyday we were invited to see different parts of the island. - North East Gate (the line btwn GTMO and Cuba) and several other places I can't mention for fear of losing my genitals. My favorite was "Castro's Karaoke Pit and Mini-Glo Golf". I hope to do another tour there soon. I would have to say the scariest moments included the iguana that ran out in front of me while I was walking on the beach.  The damn thing was huge! They get up to 4 ft long and have spikes all over them. I was told they're not aggressive but I gave it a dollar anyway just to make sure. Another scary moment was when we were snorkeling in the gulf and I asked our guide if we were in shark infested waters. He asked me if I wanted to know now or when we got back to shore. That was comforting. Actually it wasn't, the pee running down my leg was comforting. Then it got cold and I felt like I was in grade school again.

SplatterTribe: How would you define the following words?

Dale Jones: My act is a combination of one-liners, ad-libs, stories you shouldn't tell a child and non-stop facial expressions. It's also extremely physical. I basically throw the whole kitchen at the audience. That way if they don't get the joke, they can say "Well, he looks stupid". Go to www.dalejonescomic.com and you'll get the picture. 

SplatterTribe: Do you ever go to the library and if so, how does that work out for you?

Dale Jones: When Brian Regan told me if I wanted to be goofy I should cross my eyes.  I did my whole act with my eyes crossed for the next 2 years. I wish that was a lie.

SplatterTribe: If you were to start your own Comedy hall of fame, who would be your first 5 nominees?

SplatterTribe: So, Uhm...Where will you be performing in the next few weeks? 

(Tribe Note: Damn, that ages this interview, huh? BTW, The 16th through the 30th in the Bahamas? This life of a stand up comedian is vicious!)

SplatterTribe: Alright if you were starting your own Music Hall of Fame who would be your first five nominees?

Dale Jones: SplatterTribe was the name of the gang I spent ten hours with in a drunk tank in Macon, GA. I still get xmas cards.

(Tribe Note: Really? We'll have to add that to the cost cutting list. Sorry, blame the economy!)

SplatterTribe: What is a successful plateau, as a comic, that you haven't reached yet in your mind?